deep even breaths...

What is the deal with this woman?  She has been trying to be friendly to me for some time now and I don't get it.  Actually, I don't get that she doesn't get it - that I don't want to be her friend or talk to her or look at her or hear her.  Whatever.  So she asks me today for 15 of my time after I get off work.  I already lost a year of my life that I will never get back to her, so what's 15 more minutes?  I can revert to being a teenager and just glaze over and fucking nod at her.  I'm pretty sure I remember how to do that...  I will practice this afternoon.  WTF?  I am just so tired of this, of her obvious need to control things and people.  Part of me is curious as to what she has to say, though.  I'm sure it will just be some poor me bullshit drivel coming out of her mouth that I don't want to hear.  I suspect that she is going to ask me to help her with the restaurant and it will be quite satisfying to say no.  It would be nice to hear an apology from her...HA! Like that would ever happen!  The Bitch stands up and owns her shit?!?  No fucking way!  If she hasn't done it by the age of 52, she ain't gonna start now.  Just sayin... I will have to post again after she talks, so stay tuned.

As yet untitled

Approaching my 35th birthday and I would probably be looking forward to it more if there was anything to do in this town or anyone to do it with for that matter. It kind of just sucks all of the fun out of it - just like this town did to Halloween.  Sucks the fun right out of everything this place does.  Anyways, I should be going to dinner with boss and her husband, so at least I will get to wear my new birthday shoes...not that I will be anywhere that I can show them off to the general population.  Mostly the general population are not people I want to know anyway.  There have got to be some half-way decent people here, I mean, we can't be the only ones on this mountain.  I'd settle for just one friend outside of The Shining.  Maybe I am asking too much from the universe right now.  I don't know.
     On a lighter note, I have reconnected with an old friend in Denver and being in touch with her again has helped my soul immensely.  She is a constant source of inspiration for me and it has been good to talk to her again.  She is doing very well and recently married her partner and they are running a dispensary in the Denver area.  That is a huge sign that I am in the wrong place and around the wrong people.  I should sooooo be working in a dispensary in Colorado - maybe I could find something like that here in New Mexico. Anyways, she has done some long distance Reiki on me in the last few days and has really helped me break down the wall that has been surrounding my heart chakra.  Her third eye is so bright and her love so powerful, that every session has been like she is right next to me.  I can actually feel her working on me.  It is amazing and I am lighter every day that I wake up.  I am an untitled work in progress. Cool. Thanks Deb. :)  More later...